Andrew Jensen started golfing at seven years old and went professional around 23. His first suicide attempt happened at 16, with others between tours in his mid-twenties.

In this episode, Andrew joins us to talk about his journey as an athlete, how intergenerational toxic masculinity shaped his golf game, and the mental health struggles that contributed to his suicide attempts as a young adult.

“It was like trying to make it quick and painless as opposed to something that consciously hurt, I think, because if I look back, I really dive into it. It was much more the emotional pain that I wanted to continue to inflict, and have the physical be quick and make all of the pain end as opposed to some people who cut … want the physical pain to kind of take away from the mental pain. Whereas I was hurting myself so much internally that I just wanted to stop hurting period.” (30:30)

Andrew also shares how his struggles eventually led him to become a mental health advocate and YouTuber, where he uses his channel to not only help other golf enthusiasts with their game, but to continue to work through the long-lasting mental hurdles in his own.

“I think that's where it's like all those years of being a professional golfer and associating that identity now and like on YouTube. And if I have to stop at [that], you know, my knee jerk to that is like, f*ck I failed. ‘Cause I didn't achieve my goal. ‘Cause that was my need. That's how I felt. I feel as a golfer, I still feel like I'm a failed professional golfer, but whatever. And people on the internet love to tell me that too, but I don't f*cking care anymore.” (1:00:09)